An Interesting Development - Saturday, May 29, 2010

I have noticed something unusual. For the past four nights since the root canal removal, I have slept through the night. I have had problems waking up during the night and sometimes have not been able to go back to sleep since late 2007. So, these consecutive full nights of sleep have caught my attention. I wonder if it is a result of the dental surgery and removal of infection from my gum. Though it is too early to tell what is the cause, I am grateful for the change and hope it will continue.

Goodbye, Root Canal - Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I feel compelled to remind everyone that it is seven months to Christmas as of today. That means there are only 210 shopping days left, more or less. I am sure that was foremost in your thinking! :) :) :) :)

Today was my appointment with the dentist for the root canal removal. Thankfully, the whole event proceeded with no complications. The only hold-up came because of my questions before the procedure began. I was unaware that he planned to remove a leaking and diseased mercury amalgam filling from an adjacent tooth during the same appointment. I was also a tad unnerved by the thought of having a bone graft, so I needed to be reassured several times that the material would be clean. Once relatively satisfied that the testing done on the bone was meticulous enough, I gave my permission to begin. I now know why Carol recommended this dentist. Before we started, his assistant gave me Chlorella tablets because it binds to mercury and helps remove it from your system. They also used the recommended equipment for amalgam removal, including oxygen, a device called a "Rubber Dam", and some sort of vacuum which prevents the inhaling of any vapors from the unleashed mercury. During the procedure, the dentist found infection under the roots and also a cyst growing. When the work was finished, they gave me a script for an antibiotic and Percocet. However, I intend to use Oil of Oregano capsules instead of the antibiotic, and I found I only needed Advil for the pain. I have a follow-up surgical appointment in two weeks to check the progress of my healing.

It seems a little funny to be without a tooth. It makes me feel like a snaggle-toothed fishwife, so I will be glad when I can get the implant installed in six months.

Long Awaited Celebration - Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The idea for this "thank you" dinner came while I was still undergoing chemo. It continually overwhelmed me that so many were willing to rearrange their schedules in order to drive me to doctors' appointments AND sit with me through three hours of treatment. A number of others supported me in unusual ways. One such example was my hairstylist who has not charged me for any services rendered during the past year. All this time I could do nothing to show my appreciation. However, I thought after the medical protocol was ended and I had a few months to recover would be a great time to plan this event.

I chose my favorite organic restaurant located in Styer’s Nursery for the setting. This place was very important to me during my treatments because I knew I could trust the integrity of the food they serve. Aside from this, the restaurant itself is quite unique. It is set inside a greenhouse complete with plants, trees, and some of the most unusual natural decorations. The atmosphere is quite peaceful as well. I told my guests to dress up as this was a time to celebrate, not me, but them. In other words, this dinner was my opportunity to celebrate their contributions to my life. Months ago, one of my best friends gave me an evening gown that had never been worn. It is one of those long, sparkly, black, spaghetti-strapped, clingy numbers with a matching long-sleeved shrug. Surprisingly, it fit. So, I thought tonight would be the perfect occasion to christen the dress.

My intentions were to arrive a half an hour before my guests, but that did not happen. Fortunately, we were ten minutes ahead and were able to set up the place cards and CD player before they came. By six-thirty everyone had arrived, and we were able to begin dining. The food exceeded my expectations as well as those of my guests. After dinner, we had an awards ceremony. I gave every guest a "Team Joan 2010 Award." On each certificate, I described in two or three words what that person had demonstrated to me during the last year. I really worked hard on the awards, proofreading them about five times each. So, it was traumatizing to learn that I had misspelled the word "circumstances." So much for my hard efforts. Anyway, the evening was absolutely perfect otherwise. As we dined, I could observe each guest seeming to have a great time. That was my goal, to give them a pleasant evening in appreciation for all they had done for me during such a challenging year. It was a very rewarding feeling and well worth the money and time put into the event. I am overjoyed that I was able to do this for them. The evening also seemed to serve as an appropriate closure to a very difficult season in my life. It feels like something ended and something began within me tonight. A new season is coming and I look forward to what it holds.

In The Clear - Tuesday, May 18, 2010

By three o’clock this morning, I was wide awake. No matter what I tried, sleep evaded me. I will never understand why on the nights you need sleep the most, it seems you get the least amount. Thankfully, my sister accompanied me to the Breast Center for the test. I was required to arrive by 10:15 for a 10:30 a.m. ultrasound in order to pre-register. After registering, I tried to busy myself with some simple tasks. Finally, one of the technicians called me into the room to be tested. They took about a dozen pictures, told me I could get dressed, then left to show the films to the radiologist. After a few minutes, they returned to say my doctor would have the report today or tomorrow. Then, almost as an afterthought, she said the tissue in question looked normal. I asked her to repeat her statement because I wanted to be certain I was hearing her correctly. It was not until that moment that I realized how much I had been holding my breath, so to speak. I could feel a dam beginning to break behind my eyes, so I rushed out of the room as fast as my legs could carry me. My sister had to remind me to pay the parking fee before I left the building. (The Breast Center has an efficient system that allows you to pay the parking fee in a machine before exiting the lobby.) As soon as I paid the fee, I practically ran toward the car. Once inside, I began sobbing uncontrollably in the front seat, breathing hard just to keep up with the flow of tears. I have no idea how long that lasted. It felt as though I was breathing for the first time in days. When I finally regained my composure I called my friend and gasped, "I am okay. The tissue is normal!" She responded, " I know, I know" as if she had heard the report ahead of time. Then there was silence on the phone for a moment or two while I tried to calm down. It is so difficult to describe times like these. I felt as though ten thousand pounds had been lifted off my shoulders. Or as though I had been required to hold my breath for hours then been allowed to breathe again. To say I was relieved by that news is an understatement!

Anyway, the "thank you" dinner I have been planning for about eight months is tomorrow evening. I had to reschedule it for May 19th because of my sister’s operation and required recovery time. This was another reason I had the ultrasound as soon as possible. I did not want anything destroying my ability to celebrate the end of a very long and arduous year.

An Unnerving Day - Friday, May 14, 2010

I know by now that when a doctor repeatedly exams the same spot on my body with a thoughtful look on his/her face, a challenge is near. This very thing occurred a month ago during my check-up with the oncologist. He found "something" above my left clavicle bone. At the time, he told me not to worry. This was easier said than done since my sister had just been diagnosed with uterine cancer. Because the area felt "rubbery" instead of hard, he believed it was not cancerous. However, he wanted to watch the spot and instructed me to return in four to six weeks. Today was that appointment. Once again, my doctor examined the area in question over and over again with the same pensive look on his face. Then he sat down and explained that because the spot measured about one centimeter, he felt it should be tested. Apparently, there is a chance it could be early cancer in another location. So, his recommendation was to have an ultrasound of the area as a precautionary measure. I could not help but lose my composure. Even the thought of another cancer growing in my body was too much to handle at this point. After all, I am still recovering from the medical treatment and trying to regain my life and strength. I do not know how accustomed this man is to seeing patients cry, but he did a good job of seeming at ease with my tears. Still, I felt embarrassed at my own response. It was then that he reminded me how we had discussed the possibility of a second occurrence because of the aggressive nature of the cancer I had. It was for this reason he wanted to exercise a greater degree of caution.

As I left the office today with the script I felt in a daze and needing support. Sometimes it is better to be alone in order to sort things out and sometimes it is not. This was a "not" time. I called one of my best friends and through tears told her what the doctor said. She prayed for me, then encouraged me to schedule the ultrasound as quickly as I could, even today, if possible. Unfortunately, the earliest appointment I could get is Tuesday. So, I will need to keep my mind more focused on the faithfulness of God than usual over the next few days.

Foiled Again - Thursday, May 13, 2010

At Martindale’s, Thursday is the largest shipment day of the week. I felt energetic enough this morning so I worked as fast as I could helping to put the products away. (Our aim is to clear the sales floor of boxes as early as possible so that the customers can shop unhindered.) It felt good to be able to work hard. Unfortunately, after a few hours, the tiredness hit me like a ton of bricks. I am always fooled by this. On days like today, I think I am finally passed the point of being easily tired. Then ... boom! My energy is spent and it is only twelve o’clock in the afternoon. This would not be a problem if it were not for the fact that there are still four hours of work left, food shopping, cooking dinner, and church tonight. I really do have hope though that soon I will learn to ration my energy levels more effectively. It just was not the case today. So, as I sat down with my boss this afternoon I prayed for strength to make it through our meeting without falling asleep. Thankfully, I did, and through the rest of the day as well, although the tiredness would wash over me at times. It will be great to regain my energy levels. In the meantime, I am grateful, because I could be experiencing a lot more residual effects from the chemo and radiation than this. Also, the weekend is coming and that means I can take a nap whenever necessary.

Test Results - Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I always look forward to my visits with the naturopath. It has been my habit to be as quiet as possible in any medical doctor’s office in the hope that I will escape as quickly as possible. This is not the case with the naturopath. Maybe it is because we agree on the approach that I feel as though I am participating in the process rather than defending my stance. I feel much more able to be myself also because I do not have to explain everything I believe, medically speaking, that is. Do not misunderstand me, I truly appreciate and respect the doctors the Lord has given me, however much I disagree with their approach.

Anyway, we discussed the results of my recent blood work. My SED Rate and C-Reactive Protein (CRP), which are markers for inflammation, were very low. I believe this was due to the natural anti-inflammatories, liver cleansing, and diet I have been observing. My Ferritin (iron storage) count was somewhat low as well, but still in range, so she prescribed a blood building supplement from Carlson to address this issue. (She feels this is the cause of the tiredness I keep feeling.) My Vitamin D levels had increased significantly since the last test, but could still be higher, so she suggested I increase my D supplementation for a couple of weeks. Apparently, a number of her patients’ pain has been reduced as their Vitamin D levels rose. I am still experiencing pain, especially in the morning, so I hope this will help. She then suggested some supplements to take as preparation for the removal of my root canal. Lastly, we discussed how to lose the four extra and unwanted pounds I have gained in the past few months. I think it is a combination of menopause and enjoying food too much. I decided to take her advice and walk more often than I lift weights as it will burn more calories. We will see what happens as a result.

Happy Mother's Day - Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms. I wish you the best of time spent with your children!

The Meeting - Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Today, I did my usual "how much can I cram into one morning and still make it on time" routine. Of course, this left me rushing to find a parking space and needing to settle on the garage at the Comprehensive Breast Center.

I have no idea what happened to me on the way to the appointment, but from the time I sat down with Ruthmary, my mouth rarely stopped moving. I think the most accurate description would be to say I "unloaded on her with both barrels." What was supposed to be a half-hour session turned into an hour and a half. (Just so you know, I did give her space to speak.) I had not planned what to say beforehand, but once there, I began by giving her an abbreviated version of my journey this past year as well as my background in alternative health. I included in my account some of the modalities I felt helped me do well during the medical protocol. I spoke of my ideas about treating the whole person, spirit, soul, and body, and how this could be coordinated. We even discussed the issue of finances. In Pennsylvania, Complementary Medicine is not covered by insurance, so it can be expensive, and therefore out of reach for so many. I believe there are ways to address that issue, making it available to more people. She seemed very open to my thoughts and shared some of her own experiences at Jefferson’s Integrative Health Unit. It certainly appeared as though we were on the same page. We also talked about the development of the program at Bryn Mawr and its challenges. It was a very stimulating conversation, to say the least. As our time drew to a close, she asked if I would consider meeting with some key people for a brainstorming session to possibly create a plan of action. One of the blessings of being an adult, I believe, is the ability to control one’s emotions. On the inside, I was doing somersaults and screaming, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" On the outside, I simply smiled and remarked that I would definitely make time to attend such a meeting.

As I left Ruthmary’s office, I could not help but again wonder at what a difference a year can make. Last year at this time I was completely overwhelmed by the diagnosis of cancer and preparations for an upcoming operation. One year later, I have "come through the fire" and am able to think about the future in a positive way. This was one more opportunity to thank God for His faithfulness to me!

Dental Appointment - Monday, May 3, 2010

I finally made it through heavy traffic this morning to my dental appointment. The building was a bit confusing because it had so many entrance-ways. I drove around it once then walked half-way around the opposite direction before I discovered which was the correct door to the dentist’s office.

Once there, I was ushered into one of the many patient rooms for an exam and more X-rays than I anticipated. After that, the dentist took digital pictures of every inch of my mouth. (You would be amazed at how strange your mouth looks from that angle.) Anyway, he recommended the root canal tooth be pulled because he could see infection underneath it on the X-rays. Then, he gave me a complete description of the condition of my amalgam fillings. He seemed very thorough and knowledgeable. I made an appointment for late this month for the extraction. I will need to postpone the appointment with the other dentist for the mercury amalgam removals so that my mouth can heal, and I can do some detoxing in the interim.

When I arrived at work, there was a message left on my desk from the head of the Complementary Medicine program at Bryn Mawr. I called her back immediately, but could not reach her. Some time passed and she returned my call.....finally we connected! That was the longest segment of phone tag I had ever played. Anyway, she happened to have time available on Tuesday, May 4th. We agreed on ten o’clock in the morning in her office for a half an hour. I am very excited for the opportunity!

A Desired Phone Call - Friday, April 30, 2010

Ever since the day of the seminar at Bryn Mawr, I have been playing phone tag with Ruth Mary, the social worker who runs the Complementary Medicine program there. Today, I received a return call from her associate inquiring as to which of their services I was seeking. I apprised her of my background and desire to assist the program in anyway I could. She expressed interest in meeting me and learning what she could from my experience.

On another note, on Monday I will be consulting with the dentist who will remove my root canal. In another two weeks, I have an appointment with the dentist who will remove my mercury amalgam fillings. Then it will be more detoxing, and I trust, more healing.

A Shocking Surprise - Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Because April 2009 was so difficult, I was really hoping to live through April 2010 without any major catastrophes. Things were going rather well until the ninth. Fran had been in the hospital for an exploratory procedure a few days prior. That morning her doctor left a voice mail requesting that my sister call her. It seemed a little odd because she told my sister the results would not be conclusive for nine or ten days. I called Fran informing her of the message, then went on my merry way. I arrived at work about an hour or so later and learned Fran had called. I thought I would finish my food shopping (which I do before starting work) then phone her. A couple of minutes passed, and Fran called again to tell me that the test results showed early stage uterine cancer. To say I was stunned would be an understatement. Actually, I do not know how to describe what I felt in that moment. All I know is my mind was reeling. Fortunately, Marilyn, the resident Mother Hen of Martindale’s, had overheard my end of the conversation. She grabbed my shoulders, steered me into my office, and shut the door. I sat in disbelief and cried until I could not cry any longer. The last thing I wanted was to see her go through the same challenges I had experienced last year.

What is amazing about any disease is the education one gets in the process. Four days later, Fran and I were sitting in the office of one of the top Gyn Oncologist’s in the Philadelphia area. He said he could not confirm that the cancer was in its early stages, which caused both of us more concern. However, I steadied my nerves with the thought that any surgeon is required to explain all possible outcomes for malpractice reasons. The surgeon wanted to operate within the following two weeks. So, Fran chose Monday, the 26th, at Paoli Hospital.

I must say she showed tremendous faith and courage as she prepared for surgery. Both of us prayed there would be no invasion into the uterine wall, and therefore no need to remove any surrounding lymph nodes. Removal of any lymph nodes would demand a course of radiation therapy. Fran did not want to have to face the prospect of any radiation or chemo, and I cannot blame her.

By the time yesterday morning arrived, I could barely move my head from side to side. I believe it was the stress of the past two weeks manifesting in my body. We arrived at the hospital by 7:00 a.m., then the nurses began their prep work for Fran’s surgery. I left for the waiting area, found a comfortable seat, and listened to scriptures on my Ipod. At 10:15, I was ushered into one of the private conference rooms to wait for the surgeon. After a few minutes, he appeared, shook my hand, then began rattling off facts about the operation so quickly that I had a hard time writing them down. To sum it up, there was no cancer found in the initial frozen samples taken and therefore no need to remove any lymph nodes. He explained that usually the final pathology report mirrors the initial one. Thank God!!! She could not have had a better report. I then began calling everyone on my list who wanted a report of the surgery’s outcome.

According to Fran’s research, patients who exercise and take fiber recover quicker than those who do not. She does both, so it was no surprise that she rebounded quickly from the surgery, astounding the doctor and nurses. She was released after lunch today and is now home resting comfortably. As I observed her during the hours after the operation, I could not help but notice how emotionally alert she seemed. I remembered being in such a fog the entire day of my surgery. It is amazing how much effect a medical report can have on one’s outlook. Well, I think it is safe to say that I will be leaving the month of April with good news!