Self-Doubt - Tuesday, January 26, 2010

We frequently receive phone calls at Martindale’s inquiring about our products. Sometimes the callers request recommendations about which ones would provide the best support for specific conditions. I handled one such phone call last week regarding which formula would provide the best support for inflammation. Sometimes after sharing my product knowledge with customers, I like to confer with our Sales Manager, Mark Stayton, in order to gain his viewpoint. After this particular conversation, I asked Mark what he thought would be a really good support formula in that type of situation. In the course of our discussion, he reminded me that Wobenzym, one of the original enzyme formulas ever made, is used as a cancer protocol in Europe. According to his research, it is used in high dosages in a number of clinics along with wheatgrass juice, raw food and other natural therapies. That was all I needed to hear to make my mind start questioning my treatment decisions again. It is as if a whirlwind of thoughts forms in my brain. This is still an emotional subject for me in that I wonder if there was some way I could have avoided the operation and chemotherapy. The questions revolve around and around. "Maybe I should have taken a different approach. Maybe if I had taken another set of products like Graviola or Maitake and Proteolytic enzymes instead of what I did take the outcome would have been different." I found myself choking back tears at the thought that, perhaps, I would not be dealing with the things I am facing if I could have done more research at the time. The problem was that when a diagnosis like cancer comes you feel so overwhelmed that thinking becomes a chore. I do not know if Mark read the look on my face. But a moment passed, then he turned back to me and added that, in the case of aggressive tumors, some type of medical intervention is necessary; namely, an operation or chemo. I breathed a sigh of relief because the tumor I had was very aggressive. The original surgeon told me emphatically that the size tumor I had, which had grown in less than ten months, usually took five years to form. I guess I need to keep trusting that God really was guiding me and will continue to do so.