More Adjustments - Thursday, October 1, 2009

This morning, I reached another point of decision. For months now, my family, friends, and pastors have been insisting that I make my healing my primary focus. Sometimes my skin is a little thick though. I really thought I was doing just that because I have been religiously taking my supplements, exercising, watching what I eat, trying to get to bed on time, and doing the medical thing. (You know, the chemo, etc.) So, why wouldn’t I think I was following their counsel? Well, this morning, I received a revelation. I realized I have been doing all of the above while also trying to maintain my life as it was before the diagnosis. In other words, I have been taking on stressful situations, mostly work related, as though there were no major trial in my life. And it has been taking its toll on me. I suddenly realized I could not continue this way. Mind you, it is not that I do not want to do so. It is that I cannot, at least, not until March or April of 2010. By that time, I figure I will have finished radiation, somewhat rebuilt my immune system, and detoxified my body. To continue to try to be the "Joan" that I was before the diagnosis is counter-productive to my health. Now I understand I have to lean on people more. However, the thought of doing so is really difficult since I never want to be a burden to anyone. Well, I took the first step on Thursday. I called a number of key staff together and told them that I needed their help with a situation that our business would be facing shortly. Usually, they are a very supportive group and this time was no exception. Afterwards, I felt like about ten tons had lifted off my shoulders. The funny thing is that I still have the same responsibilities, but I no longer feel alone in carrying them out. It is amazing how much a support system can make a difference in your life.