Second Chemo Treatment - Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My second chemo treatment arrived and I was ready to tell the doctor emphatically that I was not taking the Neulasta shot. After reviewing the side-effects I had experienced and being re-assured that the natural supplement I was taking could keep my blood levels up to par, the oncologist agreed not to force the issue. However, not until after he strictly warned me several times to be particularly careful about contact with others from the 7th through the 10th days after treatment. These are the days when blood levels typically drop to the lowest point for chemo patients, making them very susceptible to infection. I also had to solemnly promise to call him immediately if I developed a temperature of 100.5 degrees or higher.

It was during this visit that he dropped a bomb on me. He told me that he wanted me to have a bone scan and a CT scan done in order to determine whether or not cancer had spread to other parts of my body. I asked him what that would mean. Would they inject me with radioactive material or dye or would I be subjected to radiation? He answered, "Yes" to all three. It was then that I lost my composure. I tried not to, but I could not remain calm. Fortunately, the doctor told me that he wanted to know what was troubling me. So, I did not hold back what I had been feeling for quite some time. I asked him if, when my parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems become exhausted and physiological symptoms appear, why would he not look for the reason behind the exhaustion? Why would he instead continue to load my body with materials that would put a continual burden on my immune system making it even harder to fight any reoccurrence of cancer? I told him I felt like I was in a Star Wars scene trying desperately to fight off laser beams from every direction. What followed was a very interesting conversation with the doctor in which he admitted the many problems of western medicine. He ended the conversation with a statement that greatly surprised me. He told me that he always wanted to learn more and that I could learn from him and he could learn from me. I was amazed that any doctor would say such a thing to me and somewhat humbled by it. What he lacks in years of experience he certainly makes up for in openness of mind, a quality I greatly need in a doctor. I am glad he is my oncologist, although I do not think I want to admit that to him. It seems somehow wrong to appreciate the person who is ordering toxic chemicals to be put into one’s body. Do not ask me to be logical at this point. I simply can not be.

So, I agreed to the scans and asked him to give me a deadline or I would probably put off the tests forever. I promised I would do them before the next treatment.