Have you ever had a project you were so passionate about that you referred to it as your "baby." This blog has been just that for me. Although it has only been ten months since I began work on this project, I believe the time to end it is at hand, and it is with mixed emotions that I do. On the one hand, I feel that I have shared enough, and the rest of my experience would be anti-climatic. On the other hand, I am concerned that at some later date I will have something really important to say and no venue in which to share it.
It is so interesting to look back on some of the posts in this blog. At times I am still surprised at how frank I have been. The one standard for guidance I always used regarding whether or not to share an experience was the phrase written on the back of my blog cards. It says, "For those dealing with cancer and those who love them." Those words have driven me to push past my comfort zone because it was always my desire that sharing my experiences would help someone else. If you are facing or have faced cancer, or love someone who is, and have received help from anything in this blog, my purpose is fulfilled, and my joy complete. In addition, I want to truly thank everyone who has faithfully read my story. For whatever reason you did, I am thankful for your support. I am also grateful for those of you who have told me in person how much it encouraged you. It always blessed me to hear this.
Only God knows what my future holds. However, I will say my immediate dreams and goals include removing the remainder of the mercury amalgam fillings, detoxing, and working with Bryn Mawr’s Complementary Medicine Program. I also want and need to finish the work for my Certified Nutritional Consultant license. All of these projects require time and energy which, at this point, I am still rationing. Ending the blog would allow me more time on the weekends to study and complete my course work. By the way, if any of you are interested in my continued progress, feel free to call Martindale’s @ 610-543-6811 and ask for me.
For the long term, I plan to live, live well, and for a very long time. I also plan to serve God and help as many people as possible along the way. My question, dear reader, is what about you?
Fare well and thanks for reading,
Joan
Sunday, June 20, 2010
One Year Later - Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Well, I actually made it! Thank God, it has been one year since my operation. The strange thing is that I did not feel like celebrating at all. Frankly, I found myself feeling strangely emotional. It was as though I was re-living the day one more time. I wanted to talk about it to someone so I reminded Marilyn what day it was. The only problem was that I broke down and cried as I did. The crying turned to sobbing as some unknown dam of emotions from deep inside seemed to be unleashed. I really did not understand why since it was supposed to be a day for celebration, not tears. Marilyn explained that even though the experience had ended, it did not change the fact that it was a very scary time and full of conflicting emotions. Actually, the tears were a relief, so I let them flow until they stopped. We did go out to dinner. Even though the meal was something of a disappointment, it still felt good to celebrate the end of a very long and challenging (I would rather describe it as hellish) year.
Breast Cancer Support Group - Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Tonight was the monthly support group for Breast Cancer survivors which Ruth Mary hosts. I tried rather unsuccessfully to leave work early and so arrived about a half hour late. One of the nurses from the Comprehensive Breast Center was speaking about a new method for breast self-examination. I must admit it seemed so complicated that I felt a little intimidated by the information. However, since the tumor I had was first detected through self-examination, not mammography, I was glad to have it.
About a dozen women were in attendance who shared rather openly about their experiences with breast cancer, their doctors, testing, etc. Because it was my first time, I just listened, thinking it would be best to get a feel for the group’s dynamics before opening my mouth. They seem to be a group of sincere and open-hearted women. Both nurses who attended were also kind and friendly. I happened to mention to several ladies afterward that tomorrow was the one year anniversary of my operation. I was surprised at their response. Each woman seemed genuinely excited and encouraged me to celebrate by doing something for myself like going out to dinner or getting a massage or pedicure. I had briefly entertained the thought of going out to dinner, but had nixed the idea. It seemed frivolous after the celebration dinner I hosted a month ago. However, after speaking with them, I changed my mind and again made plans to do so.
About a dozen women were in attendance who shared rather openly about their experiences with breast cancer, their doctors, testing, etc. Because it was my first time, I just listened, thinking it would be best to get a feel for the group’s dynamics before opening my mouth. They seem to be a group of sincere and open-hearted women. Both nurses who attended were also kind and friendly. I happened to mention to several ladies afterward that tomorrow was the one year anniversary of my operation. I was surprised at their response. Each woman seemed genuinely excited and encouraged me to celebrate by doing something for myself like going out to dinner or getting a massage or pedicure. I had briefly entertained the thought of going out to dinner, but had nixed the idea. It seemed frivolous after the celebration dinner I hosted a month ago. However, after speaking with them, I changed my mind and again made plans to do so.
National Cancer Survivors Day - Thursday, June 10, 2010
Bryn Mawr Hospital hosted an event this evening honoring Cancer Survivors Day entitled, "Slam Dunk Against Cancer." I received the invitation a few weeks prior and decided it might be worth my while to attend. Fran Dunphy, who I later learned coaches the Temple Owls, (no, I am not a fan of college basketball) gave a speech. Apparently, he is involved in a organization called "Coaches vs. Cancer." It was a pleasant two-hour program which took place on the hospital’s Newtown Square campus parking lot. Towards the end of the evening, I was able to briefly speak with the head of the Complementary Medicine program. She invited me to their Breast Cancer Support group which meets every third Tuesday of the month at that same location. Although my habit would usually be to avoid such a meeting, I have decided to attend at least some of them. It is my hope that through establishing more solid relationships with "survivors" or newly diagnosed patients, I can be of some assistance to those who otherwise would know nothing about the benefits of complementary medicine. For this reason, even though I am usually tired by the end of the day, I will do my best to become a regular attendee.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Signs Of Recovery - Tuesday, June 1, 2010
It is always amazing to me how quickly a month passes. It seems just a few days have passed since my last visit to the naturopath, yet today was my monthly appointment. As usual, I had my list of questions prepared the night before. I also planned everything I needed to do prior to leaving home, or so I thought. It was around 7:15 a.m. that I suddenly remembered the staff member who opens the store on Tuesdays was on vacation. That meant that no one scheduled to work the early shift could open the door. I began frantically making phone calls to locate someone on the schedule who had a key besides me. After about ten attempts, I gave up and decided to do the job myself. The only problem was that I had been exercising and was by no means ready to face the outside world. Since only 15 minutes remained until the store’s opening, I had no other option but to dash out of the house sans makeup and drive in my pajamas to Martindale’s. (Fortunately, they resemble an exercise outfit.) It only took a few minutes to help the staff open the store, then I jumped back in the car and headed home. (Move over, Speed Racer!) Although this addition to my routine only took about a half an hour, it was enough extra time to thoroughly undermine my plans for a calm morning. I found myself racing to my appointment only to arrive late. So much for reduced stress.
The naturopath and I discussed a number of subjects from which I received a good deal of insight. However, one piece of information really benefitted me. I have been puzzled over what seemed to be a regression in my physical progress. Lately, I have been feeling more achy and tired than in recent months. I could not determine why, so I wondered about the possible cause. During our session, the naturopath offered an explanation. According to her understanding, adrenal recovery mimics adrenal exhaustion. As the adrenals progress toward an exhausted state, a person feels fine for the most part, yet experiences tiredness at times. When the adrenals hit rock bottom, exhaustion becomes chronic. Fortunately, the adrenals can recover. As they repair, a person who has continually felt exhausted, gradually comes to a point of feeling tired some of the time. As the recovery continues, the same person will feel tired less and less until eventually he/she feels normal. I must be somewhere in the "between" stages in that I am no longer tired every day, all day. However, there are days when I wake up with an achiness and weariness that lasts into the evening. Other times, as I have stated before, I feel fine, then suddenly, lose my energy in the middle of the day. I cannot describe how frustrating this is, especially for someone like me who always has a long "to do" list. Unfortunately, no amount of griping on my part will change it. The other thing I was able to understand was that I should not feel guilty about not being fully recovered at this point. For some reason, that has been an issue for me. Her explanation made me feel better about the progress I have made. So, for now, I will try to exercise patience until recovery is complete.
The naturopath and I discussed a number of subjects from which I received a good deal of insight. However, one piece of information really benefitted me. I have been puzzled over what seemed to be a regression in my physical progress. Lately, I have been feeling more achy and tired than in recent months. I could not determine why, so I wondered about the possible cause. During our session, the naturopath offered an explanation. According to her understanding, adrenal recovery mimics adrenal exhaustion. As the adrenals progress toward an exhausted state, a person feels fine for the most part, yet experiences tiredness at times. When the adrenals hit rock bottom, exhaustion becomes chronic. Fortunately, the adrenals can recover. As they repair, a person who has continually felt exhausted, gradually comes to a point of feeling tired some of the time. As the recovery continues, the same person will feel tired less and less until eventually he/she feels normal. I must be somewhere in the "between" stages in that I am no longer tired every day, all day. However, there are days when I wake up with an achiness and weariness that lasts into the evening. Other times, as I have stated before, I feel fine, then suddenly, lose my energy in the middle of the day. I cannot describe how frustrating this is, especially for someone like me who always has a long "to do" list. Unfortunately, no amount of griping on my part will change it. The other thing I was able to understand was that I should not feel guilty about not being fully recovered at this point. For some reason, that has been an issue for me. Her explanation made me feel better about the progress I have made. So, for now, I will try to exercise patience until recovery is complete.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
An Interesting Development - Saturday, May 29, 2010
I have noticed something unusual. For the past four nights since the root canal removal, I have slept through the night. I have had problems waking up during the night and sometimes have not been able to go back to sleep since late 2007. So, these consecutive full nights of sleep have caught my attention. I wonder if it is a result of the dental surgery and removal of infection from my gum. Though it is too early to tell what is the cause, I am grateful for the change and hope it will continue.
Goodbye, Root Canal - Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I feel compelled to remind everyone that it is seven months to Christmas as of today. That means there are only 210 shopping days left, more or less. I am sure that was foremost in your thinking! :) :) :) :)
Today was my appointment with the dentist for the root canal removal. Thankfully, the whole event proceeded with no complications. The only hold-up came because of my questions before the procedure began. I was unaware that he planned to remove a leaking and diseased mercury amalgam filling from an adjacent tooth during the same appointment. I was also a tad unnerved by the thought of having a bone graft, so I needed to be reassured several times that the material would be clean. Once relatively satisfied that the testing done on the bone was meticulous enough, I gave my permission to begin. I now know why Carol recommended this dentist. Before we started, his assistant gave me Chlorella tablets because it binds to mercury and helps remove it from your system. They also used the recommended equipment for amalgam removal, including oxygen, a device called a "Rubber Dam", and some sort of vacuum which prevents the inhaling of any vapors from the unleashed mercury. During the procedure, the dentist found infection under the roots and also a cyst growing. When the work was finished, they gave me a script for an antibiotic and Percocet. However, I intend to use Oil of Oregano capsules instead of the antibiotic, and I found I only needed Advil for the pain. I have a follow-up surgical appointment in two weeks to check the progress of my healing.
It seems a little funny to be without a tooth. It makes me feel like a snaggle-toothed fishwife, so I will be glad when I can get the implant installed in six months.
Today was my appointment with the dentist for the root canal removal. Thankfully, the whole event proceeded with no complications. The only hold-up came because of my questions before the procedure began. I was unaware that he planned to remove a leaking and diseased mercury amalgam filling from an adjacent tooth during the same appointment. I was also a tad unnerved by the thought of having a bone graft, so I needed to be reassured several times that the material would be clean. Once relatively satisfied that the testing done on the bone was meticulous enough, I gave my permission to begin. I now know why Carol recommended this dentist. Before we started, his assistant gave me Chlorella tablets because it binds to mercury and helps remove it from your system. They also used the recommended equipment for amalgam removal, including oxygen, a device called a "Rubber Dam", and some sort of vacuum which prevents the inhaling of any vapors from the unleashed mercury. During the procedure, the dentist found infection under the roots and also a cyst growing. When the work was finished, they gave me a script for an antibiotic and Percocet. However, I intend to use Oil of Oregano capsules instead of the antibiotic, and I found I only needed Advil for the pain. I have a follow-up surgical appointment in two weeks to check the progress of my healing.
It seems a little funny to be without a tooth. It makes me feel like a snaggle-toothed fishwife, so I will be glad when I can get the implant installed in six months.
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